How do I put this, so you might understand? Do you remember your first time swimming in the deep end of a pool? You constantly have this feeling in your gut, you’re scared to drowned. You can feel the fear inside of you, more than any other time you’ve felt it. It doesn’t go away either. It stick with you, as you frantically search for the bottom. If you could only reach the bottom. If you could only get to the bottom and just stand up. You can even see the wall. If you could only make it over there, you could hold on to something. Hold on, and be okay. But you’re stuck. You can manage to keep yourself up, keep your head above water. Eventually though, you start to get tired. Tired of fighting, trying to keep yourself above the surface, and you start to give in. You let yourself sink, and you stop trying to save yourself. It feels nice, and you can relax a little. It feels nice, to give yourself over to the pain. To let it win, to stop fighting, and trying to save yourself. It’s nice to sink.
